Make it Real.

I was born in 1979 which means I was alive when vinyl records were originally in style. My very first record was The Jets, and still to this day, one of my all-time favorite songs is “Make it Real.” https://youtu.be/K8LLF-46FN8 I’ve attached it for your listening pleasure. Please tell your ears they’re welcome for the assist. The very first line of the song is “Tonight, it’s been a year” *I sang typed that* it seems fitting since tonight is New Year’s Eve and it’s literally been a year. I’m in my pajamas at 7:30 writing a blog like the wild 40-year-old that I am. I DID have microwaved mac & cheese and M&M’s for dinner, so don’t tell me I don’t know how to party!

I turned 40 in April *best birthday ever* and I swear I had a moment of clarity about my life that day. Something in me changed, and I realized I’m about halfway through already. YIKES! That’s an odd realization. I was JUST in High School a few years ago. How am I about to have my 20th wedding anniversary? How is it possible that I’m only a year and a half away from my firstborn leaving for college? HOW AM I 40?!? Someone take me back to the ’80s where I belong! I’ve been an adult for 22 years, but now that I’m 40, it seems official. Now, I’m at the age where I can give solid advice because I’ve actually been through enough to have solid advice to offer. *looking at you, umpires and refs!*

On my birthday I reflected on all 40 years; all the things I’ve accomplished and all that I’ve survived. It’s crazy how fast the years go by, isn’t it? One minute you’re a kid and you can’t wait to be grown-up, then BAM you’re grown up and have babies of your own. You’d swear the baby days couldn’t possibly get any longer, and then seemingly overnight your babies become teenagers and you’d give anything for your days to slow down. As I sat in reflection I thought about those things and so many others. I decided in those moments what I wanted for my next 40 was for them to matter, more importantly, I wanted to make them REAL.

I unintentionally started reevaluating everything about my life. Where I invest my time, and with whom. Are my kids prepared for life? Have I done a good job? Which things needed more of my attention, and which things needed to go. I reevaluated it all. Once you start thinking about it, you notice pretty quickly what matters to you. It’s different for everyone, but for me, it’s my time and my people. I want to spend my time with people who love me; people who invest back and help bring out my best self in some capacity. I want people in my life who add value to it, and I want people to feel like I’ve added value to theirs. I’ve always wanted that, but now I’m suddenly extra aware.

I’ve wasted a lot of time and energy on people or things that didn’t matter, we all have, but I don’t want to do that anymore. Time is a gift that I don’t want to take for granted. I want to focus on what’s real and invest wisely. When I sit in reflection on my 80th birthday, I want to look back and be able to say, I did everything I could with the time I was given. I won’t care about my overall happiness or how much money I have, I’ll care about my impact. How many lives I touched, how many people I helped, how much of my heart I shared, how much love, grace, and forgiveness I offered. Mostly, how much real value I added to other people’s lives. I’m already happy with MY life, now it’s important for me to give away as much happiness as I can. It took nearly 40 years to own my gifts and it would seem like a waste if I didn’t spend the next 40 using them. That’s what gifts are for…….to be given.

I’m not a New Year’s resolution girl, but as the song goes “Give me one more chance to make it REAL” *Yes, I sang typed that with my soul too (the M&M’s are kicking in)* It’s almost a new year and no matter what life stage you’re in, you’ve made it this far and you have a new chance. I don’t want to tell you what to do, but maybe a good way to start a new year would be to reflect for a while and reevaluate what really matters to YOU. Since I’m a sophisticated 40-year-old, you can just agree that it’s solid advice because it IS. 😉

PS: My daughter bought a Mason jar last NYE and everyday she writes herself a little note with the highlight of the day or week. Tonight, she’ll open the jar and relive all the happy moments of the entire year. Such an easy thing to do and such a good way to focus on joy. Not to mention on her 80th birthday she’ll have jars full of memories to relive and smile about. I wish I had thought of that when my kids were babies. Anyway, kind of a cool idea so I thought I’d share it with you. I’m helping!

My wish for you this year is that you’re surrounded by real. Real love, real joy and real peace in your heart.

Happy New Year ~ 💜 T